“O, not at all ma’am, but in Americky, ma’am, where there’s plenty av land idle, and wantin’ occypation; and, faix, indeed, ma’am, that’s not the way here, when we’re a’most starved, and it’s so scarce, and wonderful dear; sit down here, if you plaze, ma’am, and I’ll tell you all about my own land, and how I lost it, and the hobble I’m in. Will we put down some turf, and make a good rousin’ fire?”
“O, yeh, no, sir!” getting frightened about the cake, “we’d never get to bed if we’d a good fire.”
“Well, then, never mind, ma’am. You see, about my farm. I was tellin’ you, ma’am, my farm (puff) was just like that,” pointing to the ashes smoothed down quite flat over the cake; “well, my farm was quite smooth, and level, and flat, just like that; but if it was, ma’am, my second brother, Pat, ma’am, (p-p-f-f-f)—here, ma’am, here’s the pipe for you, and smoke for a bit.”
“Thank’e, sir. Well! well, what about your brother Pat?”
“O, I’ll tell you. My second brother, Pat, ma’am, went to a blackguard ’torney, and got an advice, and found out that he’d as good a right to the farm as I had myself; and he went to law with me, and he bate me, ma’am; and then it was all left to arbitration, ma’am, and,” said Mehicle, taking a piece of broken scythe in his hand, as if to illustrate his description, “the rascals were bribed, I’m sure; but, however, they made me divide the land into two halves, just now as I might divide this,” making a desperate cut across the ashes, and, of course, through the centre of the cake.
“O, dear, sir! that was terrible,” said she. “I hope they didn’t do any more to your land?”
“O, yes; that was nothing, ma’am. The next brother, Terry, then, ma’am, says, says he, ‘Why hasn’t myself as good a right as them two?’ says he. ‘I’ll go to law,’ says he; and so he went to law, and we did our best, but he bate us, and it was left to arbitration; and then we had to divide our land somehow so,” cutting across again, “or, stop, I’m wrong, there was more of a corner cut off than that—it was more like this;” another sliver, “and there was a wall running across, as it might be so;” and here followed another slice; by this time, too, the cake was pretty well minced.
“O, dear, dear!” said she, “it must have been spylte entirely for you, then, sir;” said she, thinking of the cake.
“O, musha, then! indeed it was, ma’am, not worth one fraction. But that wasn’t half of the misfortune; my youngest brother, Jack, ma’am, says, says he, ‘Why,’ says he, ‘why isn’t it mine as much as theirs?’ says he. ‘I’ll go to law,’ says he; and he went to law, and it was left to arbitration; and they were bribed, and if they were, they made us turn, and mix, and twist it all to and fro, higgeldy piggeldy, in and out, this way and that way, just for all the world like that,” said Mehicle, mixing ashes and cake all up together with the bit of scythe; “and see, now, it’s all destroyed and ruined, and broken up, just like that,” pointing down at the fire.
Mrs. Mungavan was, to be sure, grievously vexed, but said nothing till she went in to her husband.