Christian Grubemout, Pres’t.
To the Directors, Stockholders, etc.
P. S. Please ask Jones to think of us. Not that it is any of our business, but would like to know whether he ever divided with Wilkins—it would be civil, you know. Regards to the Bulls. Uptosnuff says ditto to the Bears, for there is no knowing when one may want a friend, and civility costs nothing.
C. G.
Minutes, First Meeting.—At a large and enthusiastic meeting of the joyous and delighted inhabitants of the charming and romantic village of Fleeceington, held at “The Hawk and Buzzard Hotel,” to elect officers for the newly discovered, freshly chartered, and highly valuable and productive Copper Mine, just incorporated by an act of the Legislature, under the name, style and title, to wit:
“The Grand Open Sesame and United Catchem Copper Mining, Crushing, Stamping, Pumping and Smelting Company,”
Christian Grubemout, Eliakim Uptosnuff, J. Drawitwell, T. Crispin and John Smith, the original incorporators of the Company, after regaling themselves, proceeded to the election of officers, and knowing that in the goodly city of Philadelphia there were a number of persons by the names of Jones, Brown and Green, and not a few Sharps and Flats, they, in order to avoid giving offence, placed in a hat the whole of the names, as above, found in the Directory, (significant of the office they were to hold,) and drew the following first three names, A. Jones, B. Flat, C. Green, directing them to supply vacancies, and to fill additions to the number of five; adding in the meanwhile the names of the first two corporators, as ex-officio directors, to conduct silently the operations of the mines, and to enlighten the others as to the true plan of working copper-mines profitably and efficiently.