"I am sorry I purchased this beer. I wish you would exchange it for some crackers and cheese to the same amount."
The simple-minded Boniface readily assented, and the man took the plate of crackers and cheese, and ate them. As he was going out, the old landlord hesitatingly reminded him that he hadn't paid for them.
"Yes, I did," said the customer; "I gave you the beer for 'em."
"Vell den, I knowsh dat; but den you haven't give me de monish for de beersh."
"But I didn't take the beer: there stands the same bottle now!"
The old tavern-keeper was astounded. He looked sedate and confused; but all to no purpose was his laborious thinking. The case was still a mystery.
"Vell den," said he, at length, "I don't zee how it ish: I got de beersh—yaäs, I got de beersh; but den, same times, I got no monish! Vell, you keeps de grackers—und—gheese; but I don't want any more o' your gustoms. You can keeps away from my davern!"
Some years ago, at the Hartford (Conn.) Retreat for the Insane, under the excellent management of Doctor B——, a party used occasionally to be given, to which those who are called "sane" were also invited; and as they mingled together in conversation, promenading, dancing, &c., it was almost impossible for a stranger to tell "which was which."
On one of these pleasant occasions a gentleman-visitor was "doing the agreeable" to one of the ladies, and inquired how long she had been in the Retreat. She told him; and he then went on to make inquiries concerning the institution, to which she rendered very intelligent answers; and when he asked her, "How do you like the Doctor?" she gave him such assurances of her high regard for the physician, that the stranger was entirely satisfied of the Doctor's high popularity among his patients, and he went away without being made aware that his partner was no other than the Doctor's wife!