A Leaf not from Punch.
First Sportsman.—"My dear sir, I am very sorry that I hit you in the leg. Pray excuse me this time. I'll aim higher next time!"
Second Sportsman.—"Aim higher next time! No, I thank you. I'd rather you wouldn't."
ETYMOLOGICAL INVENTIONS.
We perceive, with great alarm, the increasing number of abstruse names given to various simple articles of clothing and commerce. Rather to keep a head of the world than even to run with it, we intend to register—or dispose of for a consideration—the sole right of producing the following articles:
The Protean Crononhotontologos, or Changeable Surtout, the tails of which button under to form a dress coat; can be reefed to make a shooting-coat; folded into a cut-a-way; or taken away altogether to turn into a sailing jacket. It is black outside and green within, with sets of shifting buttons, so that it may be used either for dress or sporting, evening or morning, with equal propriety.
The Oddrotistone, or Pumice Beard-leveler, for shaving without water, soap, brush, or razor, and removing all pimples and freckles by pure mechanical action. Strongly recommended to travelers with delicate skins.