It is a very generally received opinion that gammon is the basis of diplomacy; but the fact is, that it is impossible to conduct international negotiations on the foundation of that humble and economical fare, even when rendered more palatable by the addition of spinach. Mr. Rives, it is said, has written a letter to Mr. Webster, complaining that the American Embassadorship can not be done at Paris under £9000 a year, and adds that
"According to Mr. Pakenham, good dinners are half the battle of diplomacy, and the most favorable treaties are gained by liberal feeding."
This aphorism suggests important reflections.
A main point to be attended to in the formation of a diplomatic corps is the commissariat; and the force must be well armed with knives and forks, in addition to being supplied with plate armor.
The trenches in diplomatic warfare must be manned by regular trenchermen.
Rivals in diplomacy must be cut out by actual carving; and in order to dish them, recourse must be had to real dishes.
If one diplomatist wishes to turn the tables on another, it is requisite that he and his suite should keep the better tables.
The politeness of diplomatic intercourse should be qualified, in some measure, with sauce, and its gravity tempered with gravy.
Treating, in diplomacy, is best managed by giving "a spread."
Bold diplomatists are those "who greatly daring, dine."