WICKED WILLIE'S DREAM.
The combination of too much huckleberry pudding and a guilty conscience after annoying his sister's pet kitten.
Teacher. "Now, girls, you all know what liquid measure is. Little Alice may tell me what measure treats of inches, feet, and yards."
Little Alice. "Tape measure, teacher."
Auntie was a Southern mammy who had come North with the family she was born in, for the first time in her life. The sights and peculiarities of the Northern people, so strange to her eyes, caused her a great deal of trouble and confusion, and also provoked much mirth. Now Auntie had seen but little ice in the South, and one very warm day she addressed her young missus: "Lor', chile, I's dot a powerful headdake."
"Why, Auntie, I'll get you some ice," which the young lady did, telling her to put some in a handkerchief around her head, and take a small piece in her mouth.
Auntie started to do as she was directed, but evidently overdid it, for in a short time she burst into the dining-room, shouting,