Uncle John. "Jimmie, if I were to take one dollar and divide it into four parts, and give a quarter to each of your brothers, what would be left?"
Jimmie. "I would."
LOOKING ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.
Mamma. "You must take this medicine like a good boy, Tommy; it is spring medicine."
Tommy. "All right, mamma, if it will only make the spring come, so's I can play ball."
An old gentleman, within a short distance of the grave, remarked to his coachman, "Alas, James, I shall shortly go on a longer journey than you have ever driven me."
James (who had often been berated for reckless driving). "Rest easy, master, for it's a journey down hill all the way."