BY GASTON V. DRAKE.
VI.—FROM BOB TO JACK.
London, July —, 18—.
DEAR JACK,—Land at last again, and a beauty at that. It's queer, they call Ireland the Emerald Isle, but I don't see how it could be much greener than England is. I never saw anything quite so green in all my life, not even that small Harris kid up at the Mountain House. You remember how we took him in on the echo don't you. How it would answer any question he'd put to it at three minutes past four o'clock on a foggy fourth of July morning? And how we got up at half past three to ask it who struck Billie Patterson or some question like that. Well England is greener than that—Pop says it's what he calls scrub green, each blade of grass looks as if it had had its face washed five times a day, it sorter of shines so.
We landed at Southampton Wednesday night after a beautiful sail along the south coast, up past the Isle of Wight. I was very much surprised at the size of England. Everybody's said it was only an Island anyhow but as far as I could see it looks just as big from the outside as the United States did when we were leaving it. Chesterfield says people are all wrong who call it an Island. He says it's a vest-pocket continent, and I guess he knows. It looks to me too big for an Island.
We had a great time when we landed. All our trunks had to be opened by the Custom House inspectors to see if we had any cologne or cigars in 'em. I don't see why they call them Custom House officers though. Their costumes weren't anything wonderful. It took Pop a half an hour to get his trunks all through because he said the inspector didn't know the language. Pop says he asked him what nation he belonged to and the man said he was Hinglish and Pop told him he'd never heard of any such people, where did they live. In Hingland, the man said. Where's that asked Pop, and the man nearly fainted and then Pop gave him a half a crown and the man said he guessed he needn't open any more trunks, because a man as ignorant as he was wouldn't have sense enough to try to smuggle anything in anywhere.