"'Blow the wheestle! Blow the wheestle!' sez he to me, sez he. An' accordin'ly I blowed it once, signifying accordin' to the rules o' the road at sea, that we were puffickly agreeable that both parties should keep to the right. The other ship she blowed hers back at us. O' course we couldn't hear nothin', but we could see the steam, an' we knowed she were agreeable. But she didn't change her course a little bit.
"'Dogs an' cats an' little kittens!' sez Cap'n Zhan Four, in French. 'Ef he change not the course, we are collided.'
"'Shall I order the helm to be shifted, Cap'n?' sez I to he, sez I.
"'Non! non! All the time non!' sez he to me, sez he. 'I turn not out of my path for such rubbeesh! I hit him in the meeddle, the miserable shadow of a dead horse!'
"'Werry good, sir,' sez I to he, sez I.
"An' I sez to the man at the wheel, 'keep 'er steady.' The other wessel, seein' we didn't change our course, blowed her whistle several times, but o' course that didn't 'nay pa riang,' as the Cap'n sez. Waal, to make the story short, this are edzackly wot happened. The Lord Kindlin'wood riz up over one o' them flat-topped seas, an' plunged head fust down the other side. At the werry same instant the stranger were sittin' up on her taffrail gittin' ready to dive down; an' consequentially we 'n the two ships come together precisely an' direckly head on, the stranger's bow overrun ours, an' she came down with her forefoot right on top o' our fo'c's'le deck. There were one grand crash, an' fur half a minute ye couldn't see nothin' 'cept flyin' timbers, iron, egg-shells, an' ham bones. In the middle of it all ye could hear the Cap'n screechin' in French, an' the two whistles a-blowin', an' the mates yellin' to clear away the boat-falls, 'cos w'y, it were not to be expected that both wessels would do anything 'ceptin' go to Davy Jones's locker in about five minutes. But they didn't, an' that are the picooliar part o' this 'ere yarn wot I'm a-tellin' ye, an' also the werry partikler reason w'y I are not a-feedin' Red Sea fish like Pharaoh's army.
"It warn't no sort o' proper behavior fur wessels wot, accordin' to the laws o' colligions, ort to gone to the bottom; but sich as it were, this were the bloomin' ridiklous way on't. The stranger's bow comin' down right on top o' ourn cut through the decks jess like a axe, straight down to the k'elson. An' there it stopped, bein' wedged in jess like the axe in a log, an' a dozen tugs couldn't 'a' pulled her out. An' wot we found out arter a few minutes, w'en we'd all got through bein' crazy, were that she were wedged in so tight that there weren't a leak anywhere at all, an' them two ships was actooally made into one, 'ceptin' that it were a new kind o' wessel with two starns, an' no more bow than a bass-drum. The Cap'n o' the stranger he comes forrad on a run an' a jump, and w'en he got to the place w'ere our cat-heads was alongside o' his he stopped, an' sez he, bawlin' like Feejee Injun in a fit o' cholery:
"'Donner unt blitzen! vot kind o' peezness vas dot? Vere ist der Gept'n?'
HE JUMPED CLEAN OFF THE BRIDGE AND DANCED ON ONE FOOT.