"An' as soon as the flags was run up them two crazy critters commenced fur to dance up an' down their two forrad decks right in each other's faces, one on 'em singin' the 'Marseillaise,' an' the other 'Die Wacht am Rhein,' like they was fit to bu'st theirselves. An' in the mean time, o' course, the two bloomin' ships, jammed together, slewed around broadside on to the sea, an' a big wall o' green water broke aboard an' putty nigh swept the two on 'em overboard. Anyhow, it put a stop to their singin', an' sot 'em a-thinkin' about their 'sheeps,' as they called 'em.
"'Back out you!' yelled Cap'n Zhan Four.
"'Nicht!' shouted the Garman. 'Ich back for no Frenchman alretty yet! Back you!'
"'Jammy! Jammy!' screeched Cap'n Four, an' 'jammy' it were, only that are French fur 'not on yer life!'
"'I go aheat full speet!' sez the Garman.
"'Ay maw,' sez Cap'n Four, w'ich the same that are French fur 'me too.' An' then them two wild men o' the sea orders their engines ahead full speed, an' the two ships commenced a grand pushin' match, fur all the world like one o' them there feet-ball games wot the long-haired collidge fellers plays in the mud every autumn. Now this 'ere shovin' game were a putty even match atwixt them there two ships, 'ceptin' fur one thing, an' that were that the Garman had the wind an' sea with him. So he commenced fur to push the Lord Kindlin'wood back'ards up north'ard toward the canal agin. Waal, boys, I reckon ye've seed a good many mad men, but ye 'ain't never seed none half or quarter as mad as that there French Cap'n Zhan Four. He said more funny things in French than ever I kin recomember, an' he got so red in the face that he putty near busted hisself. Howsumever, it didn't do no good, 'cos w'y, the Garman had the best on't in the matter o' the elements, an' he were steadily a-shovin' of us back to w'ere we come from, w'en the gale broke, an' the sea beginned fur to go down. The barometer riz, an' I looked fur a smart shift o' wind, w'ich the same it come along all right about three bells in the arternoon watch o' the second day. It dropped right around to nor'west, an' in ten minutes were blowin' a brisk breeze.
"'Sacred name of St. Michael!' sez Cap'n Zhan Four, sez he, 'now I push the Garman to the south pole!'
"'I hope ye ain't agoin' az fur as that,' sez I, ''cos I shipped fur Calcutta an' Hong-kong, an' I 'ain't got my seal-skin overcoat along with me,' sez I, jess like that, him bein' a crazy French Cap'n and me a werry partiklarly sane American mate.
"'I push him anywhere I want to!' sez Cap'n Zhan Four.
"An' he orders more fire an' more steam. An' putty soon we found that we'd stopped goin' back'ard an' was a-holdin' the Garman in his place. But we couldn't make him go back'ard fast enough fur to suit Cap'n Zhan Four. So seein' the wind were putty fresh, I sez to the Cap'n, sez I,