"Years ago," said Florence, "I was in a small company skipping from town to town. We had met with extremely bad luck up to our landing in the town of D——. There we found the lowest ebb of all, for when the curtain rolled up there were just two persons in the audience, a young girl in an orchestra chair, and a young man in the front row of the balcony. We went on with the performance, however, possibly to warm ourselves more than anything else. According to my part, I was helping the heroine to escape the clutches of the villain, and in one of my lines I said, 'Have you noticed that even the bright moon is rising to light us on our way.' Before she had time to reply, the young man in the balcony called out, 'I am not so certain about the young lady downstairs, but I can see it all right.'"
A LITTLE TOO ECONOMIC.
A gentleman residing in New York recently hired a colored boy for a valet. The boy proved a valuable acquisition in everything except one, and that was his practice of economy. He was forever endeavoring to save money for his employer. One day he was sent to get some letters stamped and to post them. Upon his return the gentleman asked him if he had attended to it all right. The boy replied, "I's found a lot of gemmen getting stamps, and as they didn't charge them anything to put the letters in the slot, I saved you twenty cents, 'cause I slipped yours in without stamps." That colored boy was too economic, and he was dispensed with.
An awkward man attempted to carve a turkey, and in so doing pushed it from the platter to the floor.
"There, now, we've lost our dinner," wailed his wife.
"Oh no, we haven't; I've got my foot on it!"
Bobby. "Boo! hoo! hoo!" (fingering a big bump on his forehead.) "They do give things the most 'diculous names. I don't see what they call that bicycle a safety for."