One of King George's ministers was once asked why he did not promote merit. "Because," replied the minister, "merit did not promote me!"
David Garrick, the celebrated actor, was once urged to become a candidate for Parliament. "No, I thank you," replied Garrick. "I would rather play the part of a great man on the stage than the part of a fool in Parliament."
Just before the sea fight between the fleets of Admiral Duncan and Admiral de Winter, the former called his men together, and said,
"Lads, there is a hard winter coming on; see that you keep up a good fire!"
"Now, boys," said the new school-teacher, "I want you to be so quiet that we can hear a pin drop."
There was a cavernous silence for a second, then a voice in the rear muttered, "Now, then, let her drop!"