Harper's Round Table, October 6, 1896

by Various

And thus it was that he soon learned the nutting party had been planned from away back, back as far as last October, and that a gayer set of young people he had never seen in all his life than they were when they met, luncheon in hand, at the cross-roads that morning. They had taken their luncheon, they explained, because they wanted to make a full day of it this time.

What a day! What a tramp! What bags of nuts! The boys had climbed trees like the veriest of nimble squirrels; ran along the branches too, and shook the ripe beauties down, while the girls were anything but quiet underneath; and now, simply because it was night, and they were so tired and hungry, they had to go home. Otherwise they would have liked the day to last a week at the very least, so that they could have a longer run, watch out later for the rabbits, woodpeckers, and squirrels, and try and find bigger bouquets of red berries and autumn leaves.

It was even confided to this man, before the last one got out of the wagon—for he indulgently stopped at the nearest points for all—that Robert and Sophie McLaren, who sat near the driver's seat, were to give a fagot party on All-Halloween, to which they were all invited, and that some of the nuts were to be saved for that particular occasion.

A week later one of the boys, who was studying art, walked along the same road. He had been sketching the distant woods, and again met the driver of the comfortable though heavy farm wagon. This time the man's keen far-sightedness saw him first, and having recognized one of "the jolly young'uns," as in telling his wife of his adventure he explained was "a fittin' name for 'em," he whipped up his horses the sooner to hail the boy, hoping for companionship. And he was not disappointed, for the drawing materials had grown heavier with each step. And thus it was that the benevolent if curious man heard all about the fagot party.

The boy commenced by explaining the meaning of the word fagot, a bundle of twigs; and there were just as many twigs as there were girls and boys, "the idea being that we should each draw a twig from the bundle as our names were called. And they were all called by the hostess, according to the letters of the alphabet. For instance, my name begins with A; therefore I had to draw the first twig. Having drawn the twig, I put it on the open coal fire, and at once commenced to tell a story. As long as the twig lasted I had to talk; but when it was burned up I had to stop; and as it burned very fast towards the end, I wound up in a jiffy. As soon as I was through, the next name was called, and that person did exactly as I did, only told a different story of course."

The story part of the explanation seemed rather mystifying, so the boy said, "I'll tell you the story I told, and then perhaps you'll understand. The title was 'The Professor.' Place, a boy's room in college. Time, an hour before recitation.

"Duty is a grim taskmaster, and sometimes I don't fancy obeying him. This was one of the times. I thought, what's the use of algebra, anyway?—lots of people have lived and died without even knowing there is such a study; so, in the hour allowed for preparation of multiplying 2a+5c by a-c, and all the rest of the rubbish, I decided to close the window-shutters, draw down the shades, light the candles—in fact, make believe it was night, and have in all the fellows for an out-and-out spread. With this idea I had made preparation; the mince pie was on the table, pumpkin pie ditto, a big pitcher of milk, some apples, bananas, and hickory nuts; when all of a sudden, just as I was expecting the boys to file quietly in, who should I hear tip-toeing along the hall but the Professor? My hair almost stood on end, wondering what his next move would be, so sure I was that he was sniffing these questionable odors. I had but a second to wonder, however, for the door-knob turned and we stood face to face. He did not look at all surprised. I drew a long breath. Neither of us spoke. He seemed, I thought, to take a certain sort of delight in watching me. The longer he watched, the more uncomfortable I felt. I thought if there was any way of getting out of this! The dreary hopelessness of my situation was appalling. Every second seemed an hour, for the cool steel-colored eyes never lifted; they seemed to read me through and through.

"After what seemed to me to be an eternity of time he slowly asked, 'Where are the boys?' And back of him, through the open doorway, I saw them stand. They had all come together, hoping in this way the better to escape detection; their feet had silently fallen all at the one time, for they had practised marching in unison.

"After lingering for my answer he teasingly turned towards them, for they were so petrified at the sight of the Professor they stood irresolute, and he, quite conscious of the situation, then changed into a smiling host, and welcomed them to the feast. He made us all sit down and eat until the pie was entirely gone. I never made so uncomfortable a meal. I thought I would choke; the food stuck in my throat, and the silence, the torturing silence, was agonizing. I tell you, none of us fellows ever forgot that meal; it was the heaviest punishment we ever endured.