It is enjoyable to read a good story of the biter being bitten, and the following one may not be amiss:
A class of students, holding a grudge against one of the professors, tied a live goose to his chair. Upon entering the room the professor saw the goose, and calmly walking up to the desk, addressed the class as follows:
"Gentlemen, as you have succeeded in getting an instructor so much better qualified to direct the bent of your ideas, I beg you will pardon me for resigning the chair."
BY ROWAN STEVENS.
This is the tale that was told to me
By a man with a tarry queue,
Who sat with a spy-glass in his hand,
And gazed on the waters blue;
His hair was white, but his eye was bright,
And straight was his ancient form,
And his brown old face bore many a trace
Of the battle and the storm.
I.
Ay, she was a ship! She showed her heels
To the swiftest of them all;
She weathered many a raging gale
And many a roaring squall.
And he—our Captain—of all the men
That ever sailed the sea,
There was never a one like Isaac Hull
To handle a ship, said we.
It was in one pleasant summer-time
That the Constitution lay
A cable's length from an English ship
In the bight of Lisbon Bay.
Between that British crew and us
The looks were grim and glum,
For we thought of the war a few years back,
And hoped for a war to come.
The officers, though, were friendly still;
They'd meet some day in war,
And they knew they'd show their mettle then
As they'd shown it well before.
Yes, even the Captains, they were chums—
Our own old Do-and-Dare
And Dacres of that royal ship,
The saucy Guerrière.
And many and many a time I've seen
The two walk down the quay
With their yard-arms locked and their chapeaus cocked,
To gaze on the ships at sea.
But Dacres turned to Hull one day
And said: "They'd make a rare
And even stand-up single fight,
Those two ships lying there.
Now what say you—if the war does come,
As I think right well it may.
And the Constitution and Guerrière
Should meet in single fray,
I'll bet you a hundred pounds or so—
A thousand, if you like—
The Constitution that blessed day
Will run or sink or strike."
But Hull said: "I am too poor a man
To bet a sum like that.
Yet just for the sake of the stand you take
I'll wager, say, a hat."
The Captains laughed as the bet was made,
And the ships soon sailed away
From their peaceful, pleasant anchorage
In the bight of Lisbon Bay.