"I can fix that fellow," said the military man. "Just send for him, Colonel, and I'll give him an order, and we'll see if he will obey it quickly or not."
The Colonel sent for his servant. As he entered the room the military man assumed a most severe mien, and gave him an order to go fix his horse's bridle, which needed looking after, "And be sure you do it right and quickly"; and he significantly drew his sword and laid it on the table near his plate, at the same time looking hard at the servant. In a short while the man returned and brought with him a pitchfork, which he gravely laid on the table alongside the sword, saying,
"Ise fixed de bridle, General."
"What on earth did you bring this pitchfork here for, eh?" exclaimed the military man.
"Why, sah, Ise thought that wid so big er knife like your sword the best thing to use wid it would be de pitchfork."
A bright little chap in the White Mountains wrote to his papa in the city the other day the following letter:
"Dear Papa,—I can't write to you 'cause I got nothing to say, and I send this 'cause I can't say it.
"With love, Bob,
"Please send some candies."