I'm certain nothing can be done
To make you join in any fun;
It does no good to shake or beat you,
So now I've half a mind to eat you.
6.
Well, there! you're done for now! Oh dear!
What makes me feel so very queer?
What were you good for, anyway,
Not fit to eat, and wouldn't play?
FUN
Table Tactics.—Old Francis was a wag; and once, when early peas were on the table, he emptied the contents of his snuff-box over them. "Francis! Francis!" they exclaimed, "what are you about?" "I like them that way," was the answer. He, of course, had the dish to himself, and when he had concluded, remarked: "You thought it was snuff, did you? Nothing but black pepper."
A cat caught a sparrow, and was about to devour it; but the sparrow said, "No gentleman eats till he washes his face." The cat, struck with this remark, set the sparrow down and began to wash his face with his paw, but the sparrow flew away. This vexed puss extremely, and he said, "As long as I live I will eat first and wash my face afterward"—which all cats do even to this day.