“‘But then what do ye——’
“‘Go on with your story,’ I says to him severe, ‘and don’t be wastin’ time on foolishness.’
“‘Well,’ says he, ‘me father’s been a bit sore on me lately, sayin’ I’m not livin’ up to me repytation with him, but just spendin’ money on stars and bars, like annywan ilse, and managin’ to dodge the stripes. Do ye see the joke?’ he says, stoppin’.
“‘No,’ says I, ‘but it wouldn’t be anny the better for me seein’ it. What’s the ind of the fairy-tale?’ I says.
“‘The joke’s about flags,’ says he. ‘Well,’ he says, ‘me old man bet me I’d used up all the new ways of spendin’ what he earned, and I took the bet. If I sind him in the bill for something I niver tried before, thin he doubles me allowance for six months. If I don’t do it inside of wan week, thin he cuts me allowance in half,’ he says. ‘And I ain’t allowed just to find something new in the shops and buy it.’
“‘I ain’t niver heard a better,’ says I. ‘Who wrote it?’
“‘But don’t ye see?’ he says. ‘That’s why I want to be kidnapped—to win me bet! They’s money in it for both of us, me good man.’
“‘Och,’ says I, ‘tell me but this wan thing,’ I says, disgusted, layin’ me finger right on wan of the manny weak places in what he’d been handin’ me, ‘why did ye want to make it ten thousand instid of five, whin five would ’a’ won your bet just as easy-like? Answer me that!’ I says.
“‘Well,’ says he, fidgittin’ in his seat, ‘well, you see—oh, I was just wantin’ to rub it in on the old man,’ he says, stammerin’.
“‘I’m glad I met ye,’ I says; ‘ye’re the most bedivel’d and all-amazin’ liar I iver seen. If ye iver meet Mr. Roosevelt, he’ll choke to death tryin’ to describe ye.’