“Oh, I don’t know how to tell you!” broke forth Judith, and the manner of this first utterance exposed shockingly the fact that here stood that sickening anomaly, a Judith clean emptied of spirit, pride, or courage: “How shall I tell you?”
“Hush!... Speak lower!”
“Oh, who cares?... I have brought him back to you——”
“You have brought back whom?” Celia inquired in blank wonder, “You have brought back—No, no, you don’t mean—What? You never can mean Larry?”
“I do.... For pity’s sake wait till I’ve told you....”
“Then it was you who took him away?...”
“Yes, it was.... And now I’ve got him dead on my hands!”
Celia’s understanding could not at once fully grasp this which was offered, and she remained open-mouthed and mute.
“Of course it was I took him. Do you mean you didn’t even suspect me?... When I found you meant to have him, I couldn’t let you, that’s all. You had been so mortally mean.... But that wasn’t the whole. I could see all you saw in him, too. I was just as crazy about him as you. And when I heard you were going to adopt him, the thought came in a flash, ‘Why shouldn’t I?’ as long as I meant never to marry. And it seemed a great lark, a good one on you, just lifting him away like that. I paid a good price, I can tell you. But what does all that matter now?... We were going to drive him to Jess’s home in the country—Jess said she knew all about babies—and then, after a time, he was to reappear here as an orphan I’d adopted. You would recognize him, of course, but what could you do?... When I think of the light-hearted way I went into this thing, I could kill myself.... But it’s going to kill me, anyhow. Oh, you shouldn’t have treated me so.... I have a heart, too! But what do you care?... I did care about him, though. I did. I did. You can’t hate me as much as if I hadn’t truly cared. That little fellow had got a sort of hold on me nothing has ever had. You should have seen him when we left, all in laces and embroideries, like a little fairy prince. And he seemed all right. We stopped the first night at a country hotel, and Jess and I gave him his bath and fed him, just as nice.... We drove all the next day. He seemed interested in the things we passed. The night after that we were at a hotel again. I thought something wasn’t quite usual with him, but Jess said it was all right, and wouldn’t hear of my calling in a doctor. And suddenly, in the middle of the night, when we were both asleep, I was wakened by a sound, and I don’t know what was wrong—he was struggling, he seemed to be choking, and after just the shortest time he was still, and anyone could see how it was. We were so frightened we didn’t know what to do. We didn’t dare call anybody, and Jess got so scared thinking all sorts of things which might happen, how we might be called to account before the law, that, will you believe it, she wouldn’t stay with me a second longer. She put on her things and the instant it was light off she started for her home. Then—I can never tell you how I did it. I 431 dressed him and wrapped him up and wound my veil around his head, and I asked for my carriage, and I haven’t stopped since, except to feed and water the horse——”
“Do you mean ...” gasped Celia.