Grocer. Squash my figs. Sand my sugar. Seize my scales.

Baker. Knead my dough. Scorch my muffins.

Auctioneer. Knock me down.


"The Players are Come!"—First Player (who has had a run of ill-luck). I'm regularly haunted by the recollection of my losses at baccarat.

Second Player. Quite Shakespearian! "Banco's ghost."


Something to Live For.—(From the Literary Club Smoking-room.) Cynicus. I'm waiting till my friends are dead, in order to write my reminiscences?

Amicus. Ah, but remember. "De mortuis nil nisi bonum."

Cynicus. Quite so. I shall tell nothing but exceedingly good stories about them.