"Be kindly affectioned one to another, with brotherly love, in honor preferring one another."
(Continued from page [92].)
I remarked that this precept was important in the heads of families, in regulating their intercourse with each other, as well as that between themselves and their children. I take it for granted that there is in truth no want of real affection and regard between husband and wife, and yet there may be, in their treatment of each other, frequent violations of the duty of kindly affection. The merely outward manner is indeed never as important as the real feeling, but it always will be regarded more or less as the indication of the real feeling, and parents should never forget, that in their children they have most observant and reflecting minds; and you may rest assured that the parental cords are loosed most sadly when the child is led to remark that his parents do not cordially harmonize. Nay, more, if those parents be Christians, such conduct throws a shade of doubt over their Christian character. There were both force and sincerity in the remark of the man who, when the reality of his religion was questioned, replied: "If you doubt whether I am a changed man, go and ask my wife." I fear that many a professing Christian could not stand this test; he could appeal with confidence to the testimony of his church, and receive the most favorable answer, but could he appeal with the same confidence to the testimony of his home, of one who knows him best? Is his intercourse with them whom he truly loves best, always regulated by the law of that kindly affection which religion imperatively demands, nay, which good sense and common humanity require? Many a man will speak at times to his wife in a most unkind and even uncourteous manner, in a manner in which he would not dare to speak to any one else; I know he may not mean unkindness, but is it not a wrong? I say nothing of its unchristianness; is it not a wrong done to her who loves him more than she does all the world, to treat her far more uncourteously than the world would do?
Is it not shameful that she who has borne all the pain, and care, and anxiety, and burden of his children, should ever have an unkind word or look from him? Nay, is it not a meanness, an entirely unchristian meanness, that a husband should presume upon the very loveliness of his wife, upon the very affections of her pure heart, to treat her thus rudely? And is it not as cowardly as it is mean, thus to act towards one whose only defense is in himself? I say cowardly, for were many a husband to speak, and to act towards another woman as he allows himself to do and to speak towards his own wife, he would not always escape the punishment due his ungentlemanly conduct. Let us, who are husbands and wives, endeavor all of us to be on the watch in this thing; and let it be our rule to treat no one in the world more kindly or more politely than we do our own wives and our own husbands. Not long since, at the bedside of a dying wife, I heard a husband, with quivering lip and tearful eye, say, "Beloved wife, forgive me, if I have ever treated you unkindly." If you would be saved from the anguish of ever feeling that you needed forgiveness from the dying lips of your dearest earthly ones, be kindly affectioned, therefore, one to another.
Let us, in the next place, seek to apply this direction to the intercourse of brothers and sisters. No association of beings on earth can be more interesting than that of the family; there are found the tenderest sympathies and the most endearing relations. There the painter seeks for the sweetest scenes by which to exhibit his art, and the poet finds the inspiration which gives melody to his song. The highest praise which we can give to any other association of men, whether in church or state, is to say that they dwell together as a family; and cold and hard indeed must be that heart which does not sympathize and rejoice in family ties. In nothing short of the developments made in the cross of Jesus do the wisdom and love of God towards our race shine more conspicuously than they do in this grouping us in families. The result has been, that society has been preserved, even though the authority of God has been condemned; and even the annals of heathenism afford us very many displays of those kindly feelings, which adorn and beautify human nature. These would not have existed, had not the heart been cultivated in the family; and where religious principle is added as the guiding influence of the circle, the family becomes the nursery of all that is great and good in our nature, it becomes the very type and antepast of heaven. Now, the great development of this religious principle would chiefly show itself in obedience to the apostolic injunction in the precept, "Be kindly affectioned, one to another, with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another." I do not, however, so much seek just now to urge upon the members of the family the existence of kind feelings, for I take it for granted that in obedience to the call of nature, and the ties of blood, these feelings are already in existence; but what I desire to present is the duty of always making these feelings apparent in common intercourse, for just in proportion to the neglect of this, is the family influence on the happiness of its members affected. If you would combine the greatest possible elements of unhappiness you could not imagine any which would surpass that of a family of brothers and sisters, hating each other, yet compelled to live together as a family, where no word of kindness passes from one to the other, where no act of kindness draws out the affections, where the success of one only excites the envy of the others; no smile lights up the countenance; no gladness found in each other's society, the aim of each to thwart and annoy the other. In such dwellings there would be no light, no peace, no joy, no pleasant sounds. Indeed such a picture does not belong to even our fallen world, it is the description of the misery of the lost. A picture, perhaps, of a family in hell. The further, therefore, from this, my friends, that you can remove your own family, the greater will be your own happiness and comfort, and you must remember that the responsibility of this rests upon each one of you individually. Let your brother or sister never receive an unkind, unbrotherly or unsisterly act, never perceive an unaffectionate look, nor experience an uncourteous neglect, and you will do very much towards making your family the abode of as perfect peace as can be enjoyed upon earth, and cause it to present the loveliest and most attractive scene this side of heaven. Now, I will freely acknowledge that in urging this duty upon brothers and sisters, I am setting you upon no easy work; I know that it will require often much self-denial, much restraint in word and deed, but the gain will far more than repay the struggle.
Original.
THE FAMILY PROMISE.
BY JOSEPH M'CARRELL, D.D.
The promise is to you and to your children, and to all that are afar off, even as many as the Lord our God shall call. From the beginning of the creation God has dealt with man as a social being. He made them a male and a female, and the first institution in innocence and in Eden, was marriage. In his dealings with Adam, God deals with the race. He made with them his covenant when he made it with Him. Hence, by the disobedience of one, many were made sinners; in Adam all die. With Noah he made a covenant never to drown the world again by the waters of a flood. This promise belongs to the children of Noah, the human race.