“I was the humorist on the Bugle who got off jokes on the baseball umpire. As soon as the baseball season closed I was bounced. I’m trying to get a position as a coal-dealer and slipped-up-on-the-ice humorist.”—Texas Siftings.
A PRETTY maiden fell overboard at New Bedford the other day, and her lover leaned over the side of the boat, as she rose to the surface, and said: “Give me your hand.” “Please ask papa,” she gently murmured, as she calmly sank for the second time.—Boston Herald.
ANOTHER HUNTING INCIDENT.
DOCTOR P. had been asked to make one of a party to shoot over some private preserves. It turned out to be one of his unlucky days.
“I give you my word,” he at last exclaimed, in despair, “I can’t kill a thing!”
“Come, doctor,” suggested his host, “just imagine that you are at the bedside of a patient.”—Judge.
OH! music sweet has charms, you know,
To soothe the savage breast;
It lightens troubles, calms all woe,
And gives the weary rest.