A Vermont man has a hen thirty years old. The other day a hawk stole it, but after an hour came back with a broken bill and three claws gone, put down the hen and took an old rubber boot in place of it.
Alexander Gumbleton Ruffleton Scufflton Oborda Whittleton Sothenhall Benjaman Franklin Squires is still a resident of North Carolina, aged ninety-two. The census taker always thinks at first that the old man is guying.
A little five-year-old friend, who was always allowed to choose the prettiest kitten for his pet and playmate before the other nurslings were drowned, was taken to his mother's sick room the other morning to see the two tiny new twin babes. He looked reflectively from one to the other for a minute or two, then, poking his chubby finger into the plumpest baby, he said decidedly, "Save this one."
In promulgating your esoteric cogitation on articulating superficial sentimentalities and philosophical psychological observation, beware of platitudinous ponderosity. Let your conversation possess a clarified conciseness, compact comprehensiveness, coalescent consistency, and a concatenated cognancy; eschew all conglomerations of flatulent garrulity and jejune babblement. In other words, don't use such big words.
HOW HE WAS "SLEIGHED."
A boy once took it in his head
That he would exercise his sled.
He took the sled into the road
And, lord a massy! how he slode.
And as he slid, he laughing cried,
"What fun upon my sled to slide."
And as he laughed, before he knewed,
He from that sliding sled was slude.
Upon the slab where he was laid
They carved this line: "This boy was sleighed."