A Family Jar.
"Yes," said Mrs. Gunkettle, as she spanked the baby in her calm, motherly way, "it's a perfect shame, Mr. G., that you never bring me home anything to read! I might as well be shut up in a lunatic asylum."
"I think so, too," responded the unfeeling man.
"Other people," continued Mrs.[z] Gunkettle, as she gave the baby a marble to swallow, to stop its noise, "have magazines till they can't rest."
"There's one," said Mr. G., throwing a pamphlet on the table.
"Oh, yes; a horrid old report of the fruit interests of Michigan; lots of news in that!" and she sat down on the baby with renewed vigor.
"I'm sure it's plum full of currant news of the latest dates," said the miserable man. Mrs. Gunkettle retorted that she wouldn't give a fig for a whole library of such reading, when 'apple-ly the baby shrieked loud enough to drown all other sounds, and peace was at once restored.