"In line," master said, and he stood at the head;
But he couldn't speak now. So he drew out his sword
And dropped the point low for the last fatal word.
Then the rifles rang out, and a soldier fell dead!
The master sprang forward. "Great Heaven," he said,
"It is Bally, poor Bally, and he's gone up head!"

Joaquin Miller.


Too Fat To Marry.

A very fat young woman came to my office and asked to see me privately. When we were alone she said:

"Are you sure no one can overhear us?"

"Quite sure."

"You won't laugh at me, will you?"

"Madam, I should be unworthy of your confidence if I could be guilty of such a rudeness."

"Thank you, sir; but no one ever called upon you on such a ridiculous errand. You won't think me an idiot, will you?"