"Don't be afraid," said a snob to a German laborer: "sit down and make yourself my equal." "I would haff to blow my brains out," was the reply of the Teuton.
"Yes," said Mrs. Egomoi, "I used to think a great deal of Mrs. Goode, she was always so kind to me; but then, I've found out that she treats everybody just the same."
Jerrold said to an ardent young gentleman, who burned with a desire to see himself in print: "Be advised by me, young man: don't take down the shutters before there is something in the window."
Arthur—"I say, what do you mean by fighting my hog all the time?"
Bismarck—"I means nodding in de vorld; I vash not fighting dot pig. We vash choost playing mit one anudder."
"Yes," said a fashionable lady, "I think Mary has made a very good match. I heard her husband is one of the shrewdest and most unprincipled lawyers in the profession, and of course he can afford to gratify her every wish."