“You are the most stuck-up chap I ever saw,” remarked a young lady to a youth whom she met at a taffy pull. To which he replied: “And you are just as sweet as you are candid.” Another leap-year horror.
“Rebecca,” said Mose Schaumberg, an Austin merchant prince to his wife. “I vants you to gif me your photograph.” “Und vat in the vorld do you vant mit mine photograph?” inquired the wife. “I vants to paste it on mine pipe. Times vas so pad dad I vants to preak mineself of smoking,” answered Mose.
“Your visits remind me of the growth of a successful newspaper,” said Uncle Jabez, leaning his chin on his cane, and glancing at William Arthur, who was sweet on Angelica. “Why so?” inquired William. “Well, they commenced as a weekly, grew to be a tri-weekly, and have now become daily, with a weekly supplement.”
They were returning home from the theatre and had nearly reached her home, when the young man observed: “Isn’t the weather cold and raw?” She must have misunderstood him. “Raw,” she said, rather hesitatingly. “Yes, I like them raw, but,” she continued, looking sweetly in his eyes, “don’t you think they are nicer fried?” What could he do?
One more unfortunate: Mamma (a widow of considerable personal attractions)—“I want to tell you something, Tommy. You saw that gentleman talking to grandmamma in the other room. Well, he is going to be your new papa. Mamma’s going to marry him.” Tommy (who recollects something of the life his old papa used to lead)—“D-d-does he know it yet mamma?”