Our stars we may thank, then, that we shan't be living
A million years from hence!
One Down t'other Come On.—King Log is a most useful substitute when King Coal has temporarily abdicated.
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M. P.
House of Commons, Monday, November 13.—Tomlinson has for some time observed with deepening disfavour his position in House as affected by, and compared with, that of his friend and companion dear, Tomasso Bowles. Tommy, to drop into the affectionate diminutive, is a mere child compared with him. He is but the birth of the last General Election; whilst for thirteen years this very month Tomlinson has presented at Westminster Preston's idea of the highest form of culture and intelligence.
Employers' Liability Bill offered opportunity for coming to front; not that either as Employer or Employed Tomlinson has any special knowledge on subject. But he sees as clearly into its bearings as he does through the average Lancashire stone wall. Awake at nights drafting new Clauses that should baffle Asquith and make the Squire of Malwood sit up. Looked most imposing on paper. Thought at one time of posting copy to every elector of Preston, so that he might see what a power in Senate is the borough Member. Wouldn't cost so much since, posted at House of Commons in official wrapper, they might go free. Still there would be remarks made if Tomlinson drove into Palace Yard enthroned on top of waggon containing 15,959 addressed copies of Amendments to Employers' Liability Bill. Gave up idea. Electors must buy the papers where, in Parliamentary reports, they would read voluminous digests of his speeches.
Began soon after House took up Bill this afternoon. First group of Amendments covered folio page of print. Read admirably; if it had not been usual for Member in charge of new Clause to explain to House its object and effect in operation success would have been assured. Here's where Tomlinson came to grief; talked for some time; House listened at first, honestly intent upon considering project, whatever it might he. Effect of Tomlinson's speech not elucidatory. The more he talked the more hopeless the muddle. When he sat down anguished listeners not quite sure whether he had (1) moved the Clause, (2) proposed to withdraw it, or (3) suggested that a more convenient place for insertion would he found later on. Fortunately new Clause in print among Amendments. That Asquith should decline to have anything to do with it natural enough. Saddest of all befel when from his own side of House Rollit bluntly denounced Clause, Carson hoped it wouldn't be pressed, and Henry James, from allied camp opposite, demolished it with final shot.