"ULSTERIA"——THE PREVAILING EPIDEMIC.
Chorus of the Colonel's Daughters (Irish) to English Visitor. "Oh yes, we're going to have Terrible Times! And it's such Fun, you know—we're all learning Shooting!"
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday, April 10. —"Quite refreshing," murmured Grandolph, looking round at the Party, to which, as he said at Liverpool the other day, he is thoroughly attached, "to see how good Conservatives enjoy Chamberlain's Speech. They are as jubilant now as they were a few years ago, when I attacked Joseph in connection with Aston-Park Riots. A topsy-turvy world; most of us where we never thought to find ourselves, or be found; oddest of all, surely, is to hear Chamberlain of Birmingham enthusiastically cheered in House of Commons by great Conservative Party. They mean it, too," Grandolph added, still scanning the beaming faces on the Benches behind. "It is almost an intellectual delight to them."
"Yes," said Plunket, "they are acutely pleased to hear so smartly said what they think they thought."
Truly a stirring of the sluggish pool during hour and half that Chamberlain stepped in. Speech full of bitterness; effect immeasurably increased by perfect equability of manner, and the utterance of a voice ever soft and low—a beautiful thing in a man who says nasty things of parted friends. If one stone deaf had sat in Gallery and watched Joseph, as he gracefully bent over towards Treasury Bench, whereon sat his one-time revered Leader and the still faithful band of followers, he would naturally have imagined Joseph was complimenting him and them upon the perfectness of their measure, and the prospect of the Irish wilderness, under its beneficent influence, blossoming like the rose. Deaf man would have been mistaken; Joseph saying nothing of the kind; indeed, quite the reverse, as deaf man, turning his eyes on Mr. G., would begin to suspect.
Wide differences between Mr. G. and J. C.; none so marked as their demeanour throughout debate. The wilder the storm of interruption rages round Joseph, the more urbane he becomes, and the more dangerous. Mr. G., standing on the commanding eminence he has built for himself in the House of Commons, is the sport of most inconsiderable Member. Anyone, with whatever bungling hand, can "draw" him. To-night, whilst Joseph smiled his way through all the spiteful things he had stored up for gratification of old friends, Mr. G. sat restless, with clouded brow, face pale with anger, every now and then springing up with hot correction. Which was just what Joseph wanted to achieve.