The unpleasant waters
Of the River Lea!
James. "You'll excuse me, Sir, but I wished to hask you if you could spare me for a Hour Or Two to-morrer mornin'?"
Employer. "What's it for, James?"
James. "Well, Sir, I wish to consult a Dentis', I 'ave a 'ollow Tooth 'ere, which gives me hawful pain; an' it's only with great heffort that I can manage to Domesticate my Food!"
TOO BAD TO BE TRUE.
At a meeting of the London Diocesan Conference, a Reverend gentleman is reported to have declared his belief that, "for one man drawn from the Public-house by the opening of the Museums on Sunday, there were ten persons drawn from their attendance at Church!" Mr. Punch fancies these are rather supposititious statistics. Does the Reverend gentleman quite see what his hasty statement involves? How slight must be the attractions of Church—his Church at least—to a large proportion even of those who do now attend? Rivalry between Museum and Gin-palace one can contemplate hopefully. But if the real rivalry is to be between Museum and Church, with such results as this rather pessimistic parson predicts, the look-out seems rather dismal—for the Church! Surely this is the highest compliment to secular attractions ever paid by a cleric! Mr. Punch hopes—and believes—it is as ill-deserved as high.