Will be grateful for a fashion as is kind to bones and 'umps.
Eel-skin skirts may suit the swells, dear, and the straight, and slim, and tall,
And—well, them whose wardrobe's plentiful; they don't suit me at all;
Wich I'm four-foot-ten and stoutish, as to you is well beknown;
I'm a bit short in the legs like, my limbs do not run to bone.
Now my purse won't run to petticuts and cetrer hevery week,
As a pound a month won't do it. Ho! it's like their blessed cheek,
Missis John Strange Winter's Ammyzons as Lady June remarks—
To swear Crinerline is "ojus," dear, and 'idjous. 'Twill be larks
To see them a wearin 'ooped-skirts, as in course they're bound to do,