Lord Strath. You—er—wouldn't wish her to smoke more than one, surely?
Mr. Tid. (outraged). My wife smoke! Never did such a thing in her life! She don't allow me to smoke. She wouldn't allow Mr. Gilwattle if he wasn't her Uncle. And I can tell you, when she comes down in the morning, and finds the curtains smelling of smoke, and hears you were the other, I shall catch it!
Lord Strath. Sorry for you—but if you had only made your kick a trifle more explanatory——
Mr. Tid. That's not all, Sir. When you saw me and my Uncle engaged in talking business, what did you cut in for with a cock-and-bull story about the Boxing Kangaroo being formed into a Limited Company, and say the Kangaroo was going to join the Board after allotment? You couldn't really believe the beast was eligible as a Director—an animal, Sir!
Lord Strath. Why not? They have guinea-pigs on the Board occasionally, don't they? But of course it was only a joke.
Mr. Tid. You weren't asked to make jokes. My Uncle doesn't understand 'em—no more do I, Sir!
Lord Strath. No, I gathered that. (Breaking out.) Confound it all, Sir, what do you mean by this? If you didn't want me, why couldn't you tell me so? You knew it before I did! I don't understand your peculiar ideas of hospitality. I've kept my temper as long as I could; but, dash it all, if you force me to speak out, I will!
Mr. Tid. (alarmed). No, no, I—I meant no offence—you won't go and let everything out now! It was a mistake, that's all—and there's no harm done. You got your dinner all right, didn't you? By the way, talking of that, can you give me any idea what they'll charge me for this, eh? What's the regular thing now?
Lord Strath. (to himself). Extraordinary little bounder—wants me to price his dinner for him! (Aloud.) Couldn't give a guess!