(A Forensic Drama of the Future.)
[In a recent trial, Mr. Justice Hawkins corrected a learned Counsel who talked about Witnesses "coming up to the scratch.">[
The Judge (taking his seat). I think, Mr. Smallfee, that you were examining a Witness when we adjourned yesterday. Are you ready to go on with the examination?
Mr. Smallfee (pleasantly). I am sorry to say that Witness has not turned up yet, m'Lud!
The Judge (pained). Not what?
Mr. Smallfee. I beg your Lordship's pardon. Of course what I meant was that the Witness has not, as yet, condescended to irradiate the precincts of this tribunal with the sunshine of his presence.
The Judge. That's better! Then we must go on to the next Witness.
Mr. Smallfee (with an evident attempt to keep up his spirits, in spite of misfortune). The next Witness, also, I regret to say, has not turned——I mean, has failed to appear. The Solicitor informs me that he solemnly promised to attend; but I suppose the promise was all my eye.
The Judge. Dear, dear! What extraordinary expressions you do use, Mr. Smallfee! All my eye! Perhaps you will kindly interpret the phrase, for the benefit of the Court.
Mr. Smallfee (desperately). As your Lordship pleases! But, as I feel rather down in the mouth now, and as the twelve sufferers in the Jury-box evidently think that this trial has lasted long enough already, and that we ought to stir our stumps, I would suggest——