"Manipulates the leather with the left!"

That's very chaste and novel, and alliterative too;

As a sham Swinburnian poet we should think that man might do!


EDUCATED.

(From a Yorkshire Moor.)

Keeper (to the Captain, who has missed again, and is letting off steam in consequence). "Oh dear! Oh dear! It's hawful to see yer missin' of 'em, Sir; but"—(with admiration)—"ye're a Scholard i' Langwidge, Sir!"