I saw men splash their nice new suits;
It seemed to cause them great delight;
But still—I have not shot the Chutes.
I've been to all the good first nights,
I've cried at Dusé, laughed at Penley,
I have seen all the London sights,
I've been to Sandown, Lord's, and Henley.
At Ibsen I've serenely smiled,
While suff'ring torture from new boots;
Gladstone I've met, and Oscar Wilde—