Or only object like the murmuring sea.
To the House, sent from Brighton, the youngest have come;
From the House, down at Brighton, the oldest will be—
Mr. G.
A SEASONABLE VADE MECUM.
(By Ker Mudgeon, Senior.)
- Question. What is the most satisfactory motto for Christmas?
- Answer. That it "comes but once a year."
- Q. Then it is as well to take a gloomy view of the season?
- A. That is the only reasonable aspect in the face of a pile of "Christmas bills."
- Q. What are Christmas cards?
- A. Advertisements of existence sent to enemies as well as friends.
- Q. What is a plum pudding?
- A. Indigestion in the concrete.
- Q. And a mince pie?
- A. An excuse for a glass of brandy or a glass of any other equally potent liquid.
- Q. Does old-fashioned English Christmas fare benefit anyone?
- A. Yes; doctors and chemists.
- Q. Why does an elderly person go the pantomime?
- A. Because he likes it just as much as a schoolboy.
- Q. What reason does he give for his visits to Drury Lane, the Lyceum, or the Crystal Palace?
- A. That he visits those places of entertainment for the sake of the children.
- Q. But if he is an old bachelor?
- A. He declares that he likes to see the delight of other people's children.
- Q. What is the spécialité of a Christmas family party?
- A. Row all round.
- Q. What are the regulation wishes of Yule-tide?
- A. A Happy Christmas and a Prosperous New Year.
- Q. And the probable result?
- A. The attainment of neither.
Crossed in Love.—A wedding-present cheque.