There are some persons of whom I would make short work were I a Captain on board, with power to order into irons anyone whose presence was objectionable. And these persons are, Firstly, stout greasy women, with damp, dirty little children. Secondly, fat old men and women (more or less dirty) eating green, juicy pears with pocket knives. Thirdly, smokers of strong pipes. Fourthly, smokers of cigars. Fifthly (imprisonment with torture), for smokers of bad cigars. Sixthly, people who will persist in attempting to walk about and who, in order to preserve their perpendicular, are perpetually making grabs at everything and everybody. Seventhly, aimless wanderers, who seem unable to remain in one place for five minutes at a time.
5.45. Old England once more. We land on P'm'th Pier.
"'Lux' against Him."—At the Church Congress last week the gentleman known as "Father Ignatius," who evidently considers an Ecclesiastical Congress at Birmingham a mere "Brummagam affair," became uncommonly excited. It cannot be said that his violence took the form of demanding the blood of any antagonist, as he distinctly objected to the presence of Gore. But Mr. Gore, author of Lux Mundi, won the toss, stood his ground, and spoke; his speech being very favourably received. "Yet," as the President remarked (probably to himself, as it was not reported), "we must draw the line somewhere, and it is only a pity the Lyne has been 'drawn' here." Subsequently the Lyne shook hands with the police, peace was restored, and the Lyne lay down with the lamb. "See how these Christians love one another!"
Why is an utterly selfish man always a most presentable person in the very best society?—Ans. Because never for one minute does he forget himself.
