"If I were you, I wouldn't mention this to Aunt."
Mr. T. (rising, and shaking C.'s hands with effusion). My dear Charles; how can I thank you? If you knew what a load you've taken off my mind! Then the Company isn't bankrupt—it's paying seventy per cent.! Why, I needn't mind telling your Aunt. (With restored complacency.) Of course, my boy, I have never occupied myself with City matters—but, none the less, I believe I can trust my natural shrewdness—I had a sort of instinct, Charles, from the first, that that mine was perfectly sound. I knew I could trust Larkins.
Charles. You, Uncle! Then it was you who was your friend all the time? Oh, you're really too rich, you know!
Mr. T. I have never desired it; but it will certainly be a very useful addition to our—ah—modest income, Charles. But you should check yourself, my boy, in this—ah—immoderate laughter. There is nothing that I can see to cause such mirth in the fact of your Uncle's having made a fortunate investment in a gold-mine.
Charles (as soon as he can speak). But it ain't a mine, Uncle, it—it's the music-hall! Give you my word it is. If you don't believe me, look at the address on the warrant, and you'll see it's the same as on this programme. You're a shareholder in the Eldorado Palace of Varieties, Piccadilly!
Mr. T. (falling back). No, Charles! I—I acquired them in the most perfect innocence!
Charles. Innocence! I'd back you for that against an entire Infant School, Uncle. But I say, I must be off now. If I were you, I wouldn't mention this to Aunt. And look here. I'd better leave you this. (He hands him the Eldorado programme.) It's more in your line than mine now.
[He goes out, and is heard chuckling in the hall and down to the front gate.
Mr. T. (alone). That ribald, unfeeling boy! What a Sunday I've had! And how am I ever to tell Cornelia now? (A bell rings.) That's to call the servants up to prayers. (He stuffs the programme into his pocket hastily, and rises.) No, I can't. I can't conduct family prayers with the knowledge that I'm a shareholder in—in a Palace of Varieties! I shall slip quietly off to bed.