Wednesday.—"Mr. Speaker, Sir. One or two ideas occur to me." It was the voice of MacGregor uplifted from back bench, where a retiring disposition (he retired from medical practice some years ago) leads him to take his seat. Moment critical; debate long proceeding on Amendment moved by Napoleon Boltonparty, which had called down on Imperial head a fearsome whack from hand of Mr. G.; House growing impatient for Division; Speaker risen to put question, when The MacGregor interposed. Evidently in for long clinical lecture. Hand partly extended, palm downwards; eyes half closed; head thrown back, and the voice impressively intoned.
"Mr. Speaker, Sir, a few ideas have occurred to me."
The MacGregor got no further; a shout of hilarious laughter broke in upon his reverie. Opened his eyes, and looked hastily round. He, Donald MacGregor, First Prizeman in Chemistry and Surgery; Second Prizeman in Physiology and Midwifery; Licentiate of both the Royal Colleges of Physicians and of Surgeons, Edinburgh; practised at Penrith, Cumberland, and in London; formerly Medical Officer and Public Vaccinator for Penrith and district; Resident Physician at the Peebles Hydropathic Institute; Medical Superintendent of the Barnhill Hospital and Asylum, Glasgow—yes, all this, and House of Commons was laughing at him!
"What—what," he gasped, making motion as if he would feel the Speaker's pulse. "I don't understand. I very rarely speak; have said nothing before on this Bill. Now, when something occurs to me hon. members laugh."
House touched by this appeal; generously cheered. Doctor, resuming his oratorical attitude, proceeded.
"I think," he remarked, with hand again outstretched, eyes half closed, and head thrown back as before, "it was Sydney Smith who said, When doctors differ who shall decide."
The Doctor was awakened out of his oratorical trance by another shout of laughter. What on earth was the matter now? Perhaps if he kept his eyes open he would see better where the joke came in. Took the precaution, but had not proceeded more than two minutes before Speaker down on him; after which he thought it best to resume his seat.
"I give it up, Toby," he said; "as Asquith yesterday gave up that conundrum I put to him as to why, if repeated breaches of the vaccination law justify the remission of penalties, the same practice should not apply in case of breaches of the land laws. The House of Commons for pleasure, I suppose; but for "ordinary" sanity give me Peebles and its Hydropathic Institute."
Business done.—Report Stage of Home-Rule Bill.
