EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Monday.—In Committee of Supply at last; Home-Rule Bill laid aside for day or two awaiting Third Reading. Meanwhile trifle of ten millions to be voted for the Navy. Members generally, taking into account the long grind of the Session, regard opportunity as favourable for making little holiday. Benches occupied chiefly with Admirals, Captains, Secretaries to the Admiralty and ex-Secretaries, with the Chancellor of the Exchequer and his predecessor thrown in; also Alpheus Cleophas, silent through debate on Home-Rule Bill, has a few words to say. Imposing demonstration on bench behind ex-Ministers. Hanbury in corner seat representing Youth at the Prow; at the other end sits Experience at the Helm, the part taken (not for this time only) by Tommy Bowles. Midway sits the Blameless Blushing Bartley. Always blameless. To-night blushing, since Mr. G., accidentally as casual observers take it, with prophetic soul as one of his hearers well knows, referred to him just now as "the honourable baronet." Effect upon Bartley striking and wholesome. Did not once thereafter, up till stroke of midnight, open his lips. Sat in pleased meditation, brooding over the prospect of a censorious world, some day in the near future, hailing him as B. B. K., a title assumed by the Unhappy Nobleman who long ago languished from the public ken.
After midnight spell broken; Bartley, Bart., woke up, vigorously and indiscriminately objecting to progress with any business on paper. Meantime Hanbury and Tommy had made up for any remissness on part of their esteemed colleague. Tommy arrived early on the scene, deck-laden with cargo of Blue Books and Reports; sufficient in weight and bulk to sink a less trim-built wherry. Piled them up on either side of him. "In laager," as Ughtred Shuttleworth ruefully said, glancing across the table at his adversary.
DOOMED!
Bowles as the Walrus.
"Have looked forward to this day with keen anticipation," said Tommy. "Have dropped a word in season occasionally in debate on Home-Rule Bill, I admit. But it's to Committee of Supply I have looked forward for full opportunity of serving my Queen and country. Now here we are in Supply, and here we rest for a week or two. I feel like the Walrus."