Scene XXXV.—The Morning Room. Time—About 1 P.M.
Undershell (to himself, alone). I'm rather sorry that that Miss Spelwane couldn't stay. She's a trifle angular—but clever. It was distinctly sharp of her to see through that fellow Spurrell from the first, and lay such an ingenious little trap for him. And she has a great feeling for Literature—knows my verses by heart, I discovered, quite accidentally. All the same, I wish she hadn't intercepted those snowdrops. Now I shall have to go out and pick some more. (Sounds outside in the entrance hall.) Too late—they've got back from church!
Mrs. Brooke-Chatteris (entering with Lady Rhoda, Sir Rupert, and Bearpark). Such a nice, plain, simple service—I'm positively ravenous!
Lady Rhoda. Struck me some of those chubby choir-boys wanted smackin'. What a business it seems to get the servants properly into their pew; as bad as boxin' a string of hunters! As for you, Archie, the way you fidgeted durin' the sermon was down right disgraceful!... So there you are, Mr. Blair; not been to Church; but I forgot—p'raps you're a Dissenter, or somethin'?
Und. (annoyed). Only, Lady Rhoda, in the sense that I have hitherto failed to discover any form of creed that commands my intellectual assent.
Lady Rhoda (unimpressed). I expect you haven't tried. Are you a—what d'ye call it?—a Lacedemoniac?
Und. (with lofty tolerance). I presume you mean a "Laodicean." No, I should rather describe myself as a Deist.
Archie (in a surly undertone). What's a Deast when he's at home? If he'd said a Beast now! (Aloud, as Pilliner enters with Captain Thicknesse.) Hullo, why here's Thicknesse! So you haven't gone after all, then?
Captain Thicknesse. What an observant young beggar you are, Bearpark! Nothin' escapes you. No, I haven't. (To Sir Rupert, rather sheepishly.) Fact is, Sir, I—I somehow just missed the train, and—and—thought I might as well come back, instead of waitin' about, don't you know.
Sir Rupert (heartily). Why, of course, my dear boy, of course! Never have forgiven you if you hadn't. Great nuisance for you, though. Hope you blew the fool of a man up; he ought to have been round in plenty of time.