First Boy (much interested in the game of Buttons). "'As 'e lost?"
Second Ditto. "Yes; 'e lost all them Buttons what 'e won off Tommy Crowther yesterday, an' then 'e cut all the Buttons off 'is Clothes, and 'es lost them too!"
NOTICES TO CORRESPONDENTS.
Kelt and Salted.—It may be true, as you have heard, that Mr. Standish O'Grady intends to supplement his series of Ossianic stories, Finn and his Companions, by a work entitled Fin an' Haddock. But, we confess, the story seems a little fishy.
A Brummagem Spoon.—You are quite wrong. The creation of the character of Rip Van Winkle was, in point of time, far anterior to the invention of the Self-working Noiseless Screw. Mr. Chamberlain's playful application of the term to Lord Hartington did not imply any proprietorship in the article. The right hon. gentleman was under the impression that he had come across the character in the course of his reading of Dickens' Christmas stories, and, wanting to say something nice of his noble friend, he just mentioned it. It led to some misunderstanding at the time, but has now been forgotten. See our answer to "Three Cows and an Acre" in the Christmas Number.
Residuary Legatee.—Certainly you may recover, especially if you can get A. to refund the money. Don't hesitate to sue. We make a practice of never accepting fees. The 6s. 8d. you enclosed (in stamps, postal order preferable) we shall, at the first opportunity, place in the Poor Box.
Perplexed.—What do you mean by asking us to tell you "If a herring and a-half costs three hapence, how much will a dozen run you in for?" This is just one of those simple problems you can solve for yourself on reference to an ordinary book of arithmetic. Do you suppose we sit here to save the time of idle persons? Our mission is to supply information drawn from authorities not accessible to the average subscriber.
Algernon and Sibyl.—Consult Sir George Lewis, Ely Place, Holborn, E.C. We never advise on delicate subjects such as yours. It is impossible for us to reply to correspondents through the post. Our motto is Audi altem parterem. As the lady may not be familiar with the dead languages, we may perhaps do well to translate. Freely rendered, it means, "We desire that all parties (altem parterem) may hear and profit by our advice."
One-who-has-had-no-rest-to-speak-of-for-fifteen-years-owing-to-neuralgic- pains-and-a-next-door-neighbour-who-plays-the-piano-night-and-day.—No.