Already having got a First in "Smalls."
Yes, Oxford surely boasts to-day in you,
Her most distinguished son, a Triple Blue.
The Lord's good wicket made a scoring high day,
But you yourself turned Monday into Fry-day!
Anarchist Attempt on a Well-known Bridge.—After several failures, the Hampton Court Bridge was shot yesterday evening by a young man, supposed to be an Anarchist, whose name and address remain a profound secret, as, owing to his having taken his outrigger by the hour, and, having paid his shot, there was no excuse for his detention by the assistants in charge of the boats. He had been dining freely at a neighbouring hostelrie, the sign of which being "The Mitre," suggested to the intelligent detective in charge of the case the probability of the wretched youth being a "dîne-à-mitre." Furnished with this clue, the police are on his track. Fortunately the bridge escaped without injury, and this morning it not only crossed the river itself without difficulty, but assisted many travellers to do the same.
Aspiration.—A youthful rhymist, inspired by the Derby, wishes to become a Sporting Poet. "'Poet' and 'Prophet,'" he learnedly observes, "meant about the same thing in Homeric times; and, indeed, in most prophecies of coming events on the turf I have generally found more of poetry than of profit." The modest rhymster says, that as he can never hope to be first in the field of poetry, "he may at least become a second Ossy-'un."