ROBERT ON THE WONDERFUL BRIDGE AGAIN.
I reely begins for to think as how as a truly onest Waiter, as knos his place, and his warious dooties, and is allers sivil and hobligin, gits more respected and more thort on the holder he gros. Here have I bin atending at the werry best houses both at the West Hend, and also at the pride of all Hed Waiters, the onered Manshun Ouse, for nearly twenty long ears, and I can trewly say as I allers gets a sivil word from everyboddy. And when sumboddy was speshally wanted the other day to sho that most himportent Body, the London Press, all over the Wunderfool Tower Bridge, so that they coud give a trew and correct acount of all its wunders for the newspaper peeple to read and wunder at, who did the clever Chairman select to help in that most himportent hoffice but me, tho I am only Robert the Citty Waiter! And when the thowsends and tens of thowsends of peeple red the gloing acounts as filled the Press a day or too arterwards, they little thort perhaps of the many risks as the pore Waiter ran to save hisself and the reporters from the fallin Grannit, and the blocks of mettel, as every now and then fell about us!
One of the werry biggest and blackest of the hole lot fell within about six foot of where I stood, so jest another six foot mite have put a hend to a Waiter who, I fondly hopes, has done his duty like a man and a Brother, tho many peeple did sumtimes larf at him.
Strange to say, only jest 2 days before my honered wisit to the wunderfool Bridge, I was arsked to take a jurney to Boolong, which I bleeves is in France, and back again in the same day! but I aint a werry good Sailer so I thort I had better decline it. So Brown went in my place, and werry much he says he injoyed it, tho he didn't git home till eleven o Clock at night!
I don't think as he's a werry good sailer, so, if he did enjoy it, the sea must have bin werry uncommon smooth, and both ways, too! He says it ways a butiful new wessell, and called the Margerreet, which, strange to say, was his Grandmother's name, which may acount for its treeting him so smoothly.
Most of the Gents of the London Press on their wisit to the Big Bridge seemed to think most of the opening and shuttin of the enormers shutters as they opened and shut all of their own acord to let the big ships go thro, and werry wunderfool they suttenly was, but to my poor mind, ewery body as reelly wants to see the most butiful part of the hole show shoud have hisself took up in the lift to the walk along the top, which is only about 240 feet high, and then he can have such a grand view of our butiful river Tems as werry few has ewer had since it was fust made. One of the Press Gents, seeing me staring at it with wunder and admiration, came up to me and sed, "Why, Mr. Robert, you've most suttenly picked out the most lovely view of the lot. I don't know what enormus distance we can see, but if you looks just where I'm a pinting you will see the Kristel Pallis, and it don't look more than a mile or two away!" No more it did! And as for the crowds of ships as we coud see with our naked eyes, I schod have thort they was more than ewer entered the River in a month or two, and all round was the butiful hills and grand houses, and everythink looking chock full of bussel and prosperity, and all quite reddy to make use of the butiful Bridge as soon as ever it was opened! as it was by the nobel Prince of Wales on the following Satterday.
Robert.
WHITHER AWAY?
Must it be Margate?