By which the devious tourist is implored

To try the Lightning Pill that never fails

To spot the Spot, or cure whatever ails?

John Bull, his missus and the kids, I hope,

Do not entirely live on pills and soap.

And yet you'd surely think so, when you've scanned

The nostrum-signs that so adorn our land!

Oh! heavily I'd tax 'em, if I might!

And keep the landscape clear. Am I not right?

[Terminus. Exit, fuming.