Why are the competitors in the charming swimming-match between Mermaids and Tritons so remarkably dry in the upper parts? I always get decidedly damp when I enter the sea, but these ladies take to it like ducks—"Dux fœmina facti" (as said an ancient poet in anticipation)—and so I suppose the water rolls off their backs.
Will "Her First Offering" of grass and daisies go far towards softening the heart of a statuette? Her sister, last year, had a much more tempting "Gift for the Gods," but there is no accounting for divinities' tastes.
What does Mr. Kpoffnh—dear me, I can not get his name right?—mean by "Sous les Arbres?" Is it a man or a statue, a spook or a symbol? Why does he wear a marble wig? Why does his brown hair show underneath it? Why has he got a wall eye? Why is he "under the trees?" Why is he at large at all? Why—— But there, I give it up! I don't believe there are any answers to these conundrums!
How is it I've been looking at "Kit" for two whole minutes before realising that there's a Persian cat in the composition? But she's a real beauty, when you do coax her out of this "puzzle picture."
Why (this is no new query!) have Sir Edward Burne-Jones' Luciferians and Sleeping Beauties and peeresses and children and brides one and all the same world-weary expression? Why do they, without exception, look as if they were off to a funeral, or had just seen themselves in the glass? Are there no other colours in the land but dull green, steel-blue, ink-purple, and brick-red? Why do I immediately want to commit suicide after studying these masterpieces? Why doesn't Psyche cheer up a bit, even though she is going to be married? She wasn't a νέα γυνή, I'm sure!
Why does the dog in Mr. Holman Hunt's picture look as if it had softening of the brain? and why do I pass on hurriedly to the next picture?
Will Miss Rehan's left shoulder hold up her dress much longer, I wonder, in Mr. Sargent's portrait? I don't know, but I have fears!
Is the lady in Mrs. Swynnerton's "Sense of Sight" preparing to catch a cricket ball, or cutting an acquaintance, or going to recite something? I should like to know.
Why couldn't some enterprising dentist supply the ladies in "Echoes" with false teeth, and why weren't they taken away quietly home, and not allowed to exhibit their other anatomical innovations? Echo answers to these and all my queries, "Why, indeed?"