Prince Arthur, much relishing this subtle humour, was himself in sprightliest mood. The whole business of Session, he protested, was an elaborate joke. If they were there to work, he would take off his coat and ding on with the best of them. But they were there to play. "Well, let us play," he said, holding out both hands with gesture of invitation to Treasury Bench.
Proposal irresistible. House divided forthwith; Squire's motion carried by majority of 22; then, whilst half a dozen naval men talked water-tube boiler, Prince Arthur, Squire of Malwood, and picked company from either side went out behind Speaker's Chair to play. Such larks! To see Prince Arthur take in a stride "the backs" given him by the Squire of Malwood, with Cawmel-Bannerman next; to see John Morley seriously whipping a top; to watch Bryce breathless behind the nimble hoop; to look on while Edward Grey, forgetful of China and Japan, thinking nothing of Nicaragua, played a game of marbles with Hart Dyke; to see Lockwood trying a spurt with Dick Webster, the course being twice round the Division Lobby, Asquith, fresh from the Cab-arbitration, having handicapped them—to see this, and much else, was a spectacle wholesome for those engaged in it, interesting for the solitary spectator.
Business done.—Shipbuilding Vote in Navy Estimates agreed to.
Tuesday.—Odd thing that on this particular night, when Government bring in Bill prohibiting plurality of voting, Bill should bring in a Bill. His first and only Bill. Of course he might argue if we have one man one vote, one Bill one Bill is all right. Yes; but, as Sark with his keen mathematical instinct points out, this is a case of two Bills—Bill, the Member for Leek, and a Bill to empower magistrates to prohibit the sale of intoxicating liquors to persons previously convicted of drunkenness. That is obviously a plurality of Bills. But we are getting hopelessly mixed. The only man among us who sees clear is John William. Deep pathos in his voice as he says the time is near at hand when a tyrannical Government will attempt to enforce principle of "One Man One Drink."
Cap'en Tommy Bowles.
Cap'en Tommy Bowles had best of dreary evening. Mentioned yesterday, with tears from his honest blue eyes coursing down his rugged, weather-beaten cheek, fresh infamy on part of Squire of Malwood. Had announced on Thursday that, at Monday's sitting, Naval Works Loan Bill would be proceeded with. Tommy accordingly clewed up, and ran for port; laying to for forty-eight hours, prepared speech on Naval Works. Now Squire calmly announced that Shipbuilding Vote was to be taken. What was Tommy to do with speech prepared on Naval Works Loans?
In despair yesterday; to-day bright idea struck him. Shaw-Lefevre had moved to introduce One Man One Vote Bill. Why shouldn't Tommy, flying that flag, run in and deliver his speech on Naval Works? A bold experiment; only hope of success was that House, being in almost comatose state, wouldn't notice ruse if cleverly managed. Trust Tommy for clever management. Holding sheaf of notes firmly in left hand, deftly turning them over with the hook that serves him for right hand, the old salt read his speech on Naval Works Loan Bill. Here and there, when he observed restless movement in any part of House, fired off phrase about "forty-shilling freeholder," "occupation votes," "rural constituencies," "re-distribution," "country going to the dogs," "jerrymandering," and "right hon. gentleman opposite." Scheme worked admirably; speech reeled off, and Squire of Malwood's knavish trick confounded.
Business done.—One Man One Vote Bill brought in.
Thursday.—House not to be moved to evidence of excitement even by prospect of Budget night. On such occasion in ordinary times attendance at prayer-time most encouraging to Chaplain. Begins to think that at last his ministrations are bearing fruit. This afternoon congregation not much above average. No rush for tickets for seats. When Squire rose to open his statement, great gaps below Gangway on Ministerial side. The Squire, recognising situation, refrained from heroics, content to deliver plain business speech. No exordium; no peroration; no flight into empyrean heights of eloquence as was the wont of Mr. G. Some sympathetic movement when Squire, with momentarily increased briskness of manner, spoke of snap of cold weather in February, with its accompaniment of influenza, increased death-rate, and fuller flow of death duties into National coffers. The quality of this mercy was not quite unstrained. Not dropping, like the gentle dew from heaven, till February, increased death rates will not come into account till succeeding year. Still, there was rum. As thermometer fell rum went up with a rush.