HOW (OF COURSE) IT IS NOT DONE.
(Imaginary Sketch of impossible Incident.)
Scene—Editor's Room. Time—Within measurable distance of publication. Editor discovered in consultation with his Chief Sub.
Editor. We can't find room for everything.
Chief Sub. Quite so, Sir; still it seems a pity to slaughter this telegram from the front.
Editor. Does it make very much?
Chief Sub. No, Sir. If you will allow me, I will run through it. (Reads.) "Yesterday the Loamshire Regiment, headed by its Commander, Colonel Snooks, made one of the gallantest charges on record."
Editor. Sure it was Snooks?
Chief Sub. Oh yes. We verified it in the Army List. Snooks went out with the Second Battalion when they were ordered to the front. (Continues reading.) "The soldiers dashed forward over the Tam-Tam river, and up the steep sides of the Yah-Yah mountains, carrying all before them."
Editor. Sure of those names?