Young Wife. "Why all last night he kept talking in his sleep about his miserable, worthless Heart!"
THE NEARLY REACHED SHILLING.
(A School-Board Chronicle.)
"Utterly impossible!" replied the official. "A good plain cook! No, the Board does not create persons of that kind. If you had wanted a chef for a club, or a cordon bleu for a West End hotel, we might have accommodated you. But a good plain cook! No—utterly impossible!"
"But surely cookery is taught in the schools," pleaded the Ratepayer.
"Assuredly. And very well taught too. But whom would be satisfied with a mutton-chop? We aim at something higher. Our scholars are equal to producing sole à gratin, or suprême de volaille. And you don't require those plats every day of your life, now do you?"
"Then, can I have a housemaid?"
"I am afraid not. Since music has become one of the recognised branches of study, we do not obtain many candidates for the task of stair-sweeping. And it is not surprising. A girl who can play the piano, or lead a chorus, is surely worthy of a better fate than that which usually falls to the lot of a servant in a middle-class establishment."
"I suppose it is useless to ask you if you can give me the name of a boy in buttons?"