(By a Worritted One.)
[The Frilled Lizard—Chlamydosaurus Kingi—from Roebuck Bay, Western Australia, a recent addition to the Zoo, is believed to "elevate its frill when angry or excited"; but as no power on earth seems to make it excited or angry, its frill never shows to advantage.]
Oh Chlamydosaurus! You spread out before us,
If not your fine frill, an example!
With lizards to live what a deal would one give,
At least, if they're all up to sample!
Oh, thing enigmatic, lethargic, lymphatic,
True type of the eadem semper;
Your finery gay you can't rightly display,
For lack of that trifle—a temper!
If creatures more human—especially woman—
Were like you in dress and in diet,
And perfectly willing to sacrifice frilling,
And other mere show-things, to quiet.
'Twould bring us all balm, for our world would be calm
As though stilled by the wand of a wizard.
But ladies are few who will learn at the Zoo
The true secret of life—from a lizard.
New Name for the "New Woman."
Unsexed, factitious, foolish, coarse, inhuman!
She's not the New, she's but the "Novel" Woman.
ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.
EXTRACTED FROM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.
House of Commons, Tuesday, August 20, 2.18 A.M.—New Members, and some who sat in last Parliament, have had opportunity to-night of tasting old times at Westminster. As R. G. Webster pointedly observes, "Tim Healy has drawn his shillelagh, and thrown away the scabbard." Here is House of 670 Members, in Session in obedience to constitutional conditions. Must needs meet on 12th of August; but every man, or nearly everyone, chiefly anxious to get necessary business over as soon as possible, and so off to moor or sea, or quiet home in long-severed country across the Irish Sea or beyond the Tweed. Tim Healy has introduced Bill to amend Municipal Franchise in Ireland; wants to carry it through all its stages, and send it on to Lords before Prorogation. "Only a little one," he pleads. Prince Arthur points out if exception made in one case will be claimed in others. Can't oblige Tim.