Inquirer (drawing up prospectus). Shall I write "Company" with a big C?
Honest Broker. Certainly, if it's a sound one, as it represents "Company" with a capital.
MR. BRIEFLESS, JUN., ON THE LONG VACATION.
Unfortunately I was prevented, by an appointment of a semi-professional character—I had been desired by a maiden aunt to give her my advice upon a question, of damage arising out of a canine assault committed by her lap-dog—from being present at the General Meeting of the Bar, and consequently was unable to take part in the annual deliberations of my learned and friendly colleagues. From what passed on the occasion to which I refer, I gather that there was an inclination to call the Benchers of the Inns of Court to account. It seems to me—and I believe that I am right in the opinion—that, so long as our Masters worthily represent the dignity of the profession, we Members of the Inner and Outer Bar have no tangible cause for complaint.
But I fancy the leading subject at the Forensic Congress was the Long Vacation. Judging from the numerous letters that have reached me from both branches of the profession, this is a matter of the first importance to all of us. I have been asked by many of my learned and friendly colleagues, and my nearly equally learned and even more friendly clients, to give my opinion on the subject. One respected correspondent who hails from Ely Place, writes, "How could you possibly recover from the wear and tear of your arduous practice in Trinity Term, had you not a part of August and nearly the whole of September and October ready to hand for recuperation?" I quite agree with Sir George—I should say, my respected correspondent—that as I near "the long," I do feel the need of rest—nay, even considerable rest. Then a learned friend who represents not only the Bar, but chivalry in its forensic form, sends me a caricature of "Dicky W." that would suggest that were the holidays to be decreased, a wearer of a most distinguished order, and an athlete of no small fame would be reduced to a condition of complete collapse. Once again, an ornament to our Bench—perhaps the greatest ornament—honours me with the suggestion that were we to lose a month of recreation, it might sadden the terraces of Monte Carlo, and eclipse the merriment of Newmarket Heath. It is needless to state that all these communications have had weight with me. Still, I have deemed it desirable to approach the subject with an open mind. It seems to me (and no doubt to many others) that the question narrows itself into a matter of finance. I have therefore taken Portington into my counsels, and examined with unusual care the pages of my Fee Book. After much consultation with my admirable and excellent clerk, and an exhaustive audit of the figures of my forensic honoraria, I have come to the matured conclusion that the lengthening or the shortening of the Long Vacation does not affect me financially in the very least.
(Signed) A. Briefless, Junior.
Pump-handle Court, June 22, 1895.
Football is to be played in all the schools and colleges of Russia. The champion of the game is known as Prince Khikoff.